Travel blog is not returning

Well I guess it is time to announce the end of my travel blog. I haven't been able to write in it for almost a year now so I am admitting to myself that I will never be finishing it. I love to travel and I love to write about it but my brain just will not let me do it any longer. My pain levels have been too high to focus on anything like remembering what happened and when it happened. Also the depression from the pain leads me to focus on the darker side of life leaving my writing too bleak, devoid of the zest for life I used to have during my travels and before pain took over control of what's left of my brain.

Pain messes with your brain big time I have discovered. Over the last week my major high pain has been relatively low but instead of feeling good about that all I notice is all the smaller pains like my sore joints and my arthritis. I don't feel those pains when I have high pain even though they are still there. It is just that when the high pain takes over that is all I feel. Then the other problem when my pain goes down like this is that I live in fear of my major pain returning because when it does my depression plunges into an abyss that is horrible. It is actually easier to adjust to a constant pain level, even if it is high, than to a pain that varies in intensity like mine does. But the end result is that because of these health problems, I just don't have it in me to continue the travel blog. I will continue to blog on days when I have enough energy and mental strength to actually say something. From now on I will just blog about nothing...just whatever mood or topic strikes me. Don't expect any earth shattering essays.

I know my writing is discombobulated these days but I am not writing for anyone except myself so I don't really care. If you don't like what I write, comment on it, or just leave. I don't care about anything anymore so my inhibitions are only slightly moderated and I could say just about anything about anyone (if I haven't already) or about anything. (go ahead and ask me a question about something if you want to see what I mean) I am not doing this to offend anyone. I have already heard back from some of those that have felt offended. Privacy for me has become a rather moot point. From the way I have been feeling lately due to the pain and depression, I may slide into total insanity for all I know. That could be interesting to an outside observer or it could be troubling but either way I just don't care. So you have been warned, read on at your own peril especially if you have messed with me at some point in my life.

I never defend myself by the way. I have been that way most of my life. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing I am not sure. I brush off attacks from others about my integrity or character and things without comment. So name calling at me doesn't really hurt me. It does, however, tend to make me think less of a person that calls that communication. That is why I always post those negative name calling comments, they make me laugh when I read them. A better way would be to state an opposing viewpoint in a clear concise argument that might make me change my point of view which I am ready and willing to do if you convince me. I could and have made some mistakes in my writing but I do correct them when I find them or they are pointed out to me. For instance I used Johnson instead of Nixon by mistake at one point and when it was told to me I checked my dates and I was wrong. I also don't respond well to statements from people that try to say something did or did not happen when that person was not even present at the event under discussion or they were physically present but they were three sheets to the wind under the influence of drugs and alcohol which does not make for a very accurate eyewitness report. Just because someone doesn't like or agree with something I say does not make it a lie or mistake or something like that on my part.

So on with the new format...