I need to ride

It has been about 2 weeks now with me not doing much riding. I am still riding around town here and there for about 20 miles a day but it is not enough for me. Since I stopped my touring, my daily pain level has slowly climbed up more and more each day that I don't do a long hard ride. It seems that the extreme exercise is needed by my body to keep my high chronic pain at bay. I do not know why it lowers my pain all I know is it does lower it dramatically. It must have something to do with all the endorphins created by my pituitary gland when I push myself while riding. I must admit that the hard riding, where I make myself hurt from pushing myself to my physical limits, hurts way less than the high chronic pain when I do not ride. I guess the reason I am now addicted to hard riding is because of the similarity of these endorphins and morphine. I prefer the endorphins over the morphine. For twenty years I took morphine, sometimes copious amounts of it, to try to block the pain. Last night I just wanted to scream from the irritating constant relentless pain in my legs. I still have high pain when I do my riding but it is no where near as high and debilitating as it is now when I do not ride. I wish there was a pill that was nothing but endorphins for when I can't ride. Such is the life of a crippled old man.