Not much going on

My life has been like a dead corpse lately. I got nothing going on. My health sucks big time and it is keeping me from doing the most basic things.

I still get out for about a five mile bike ride almost everyday but I was doing around 60 miles a day just a few months ago. I have to stop about every mile to catch my breath. I used to ride 17-18 miles per hour but not I struggle to stay above 10 miles per hour.

I have a cough that won't go away and my throat is on fire. My chronic pain swings up and down. I have been illegally denied medical care by Kern County for the last 8 months. I transferred to Kern County from Alameda County and they are supposed to make a smooth transition with no break in coverage but Kern County is ignoring the laws and delaying my coverage. I have given up trying to get care now. I wish I would just get something fatal and end this charade of life I am waddling through.

It is no fun being a poor disabled grumpy old man. That poem I posted earlier hit a chord in my brain. I try to relive the good old days to keep me going but I feel like dementia is starting to set in. I try to exercise my brain to keep it alive but without keeping the rest of my body fit I will slowly sink into that abyss of not remembering anything. If and when that day comes the only thing I can say is at least I should be happier like that. Most dementia patients go through an angry stage and then just forget and become happy. So here's to a quick slip into dementia for me....