I did a side trip to Puerto Vallarta with my girlfriend. We stayed at the Holiday Inn with an all included deal for a week. We had a lot of fun. The first day there we were interrupted in our room as we were unpacking by four Mexican soldiers busting through our hotel room door and taking a quick look around before they raced back out and down the hall to bust down the next door and the next and the next door. On that fourth door they found what they were looking for, four teenage American guys smoking some pot. They scared the crap out of all of us the way they busted through the doors but when they finally found the pot that they had smelled in the hallway they really intimidated the kids with the pot. After terrorizing them for about twenty minutes they charged the kids a fine of five dollars each for smoking the pot and they confiscated the remaining two joints they had. Then the soldiers just left. I guess the hotel had to pay for the new doors. Seems kind of stupid to me to do five hundred to a thousand dollars damage to the hotel doors to collect a measly little twenty dollar fine. The hotel would have been better off paying the soldiers to just leave. Life can be a tad crazy in Mexico sometimes.
After the soldiers left we went down to the room the kids were in and talked to them. When we heard the fine was only five bucks after all the intimidation we just laughed our asses off. Then we went out and got some weed ourselves. We didn't want it to smoke so much rather it was more for the experience of buying it in Mexico that we enjoyed.
We met two other couples that we hung out with most of the time we were there. We sat around the pool or beach together and we usually ate as a group. The food at the hotel was kind of bland so we went out for dinner a few times. I liked the Argentina grill the best. There were copious amounts of grilled meats of all kinds offered up 'all you can eat' and we ate a lot. The Cuban restaurant was good too. We went to the spring break bars like Senor Frogs but they were full of younger kids so we looked for other bars. At Senor Frogs when we went in for a quick drink they were having a contest of tourists against Mexicans for the hardest butt. Before I could stop her my girlfriend yelled out that her old man could beat any of the mushy young guys either American or Mexican. The mc could not resist her challenge and before I knew it I was shoved forward to challenge a bunch of teenagers and young twenty somethings to a hard ass contest. They lined us up and the judges felt each ass as they went down the line. When they got to my ass they announced a winner right away without even bothering to check the rest of the competitors. When the judge felt my butt and she told me to relax the muscles now, I just clenched them to show that they were already relaxed and I blew her away with my hard ass. Then the whole place wanted to grab the old man's hard ass to feel for themselves. I won free drinks for all the Americans. We had our drinks and left for another bar but for the rest of the night everybody wanted to show off my ass in every bar we went into. It was kind of funny to me but I went along with it.
We had dinner one night and a woman selling roses tried to get us to buy some roses from her. When we declined she offered to take a pic of our group. We agreed to that and we posed while she took a pic of us. The girls and I all flashed our tits at her as she took the pic and she was caught off guard. She laughed for about five minutes and then wanted to get her picture taken with me for some reason. As I posed with her she suddenly turned toward me and kissed me really hard with lots of tongue. She got the whole restaurant going with that big wet smooch. I guess that she had to make up for us catching her off guard with our quick flash at her.
We went fishing in the bay at P.V. The day was nice out on the water as we trolled up and down the beach but the fishing was a joke. We did catch some bonita and some needlefish but that was it. It was not worth the money as a fishing trip but as a tour of the bay it was just fine. Some of us did the parachute rides and other things. Myself I liked the massages on the beach. Every day I found somebody to give me a nice massage. Some of them were pretty good at it too but others were terrible.
Our hotel tried to have events every day to get the spring break mood going. They were all contests from pool volley ball to trivia contests and they all had shots or drinks for prizes. There was no way to lose. You had to win a drink one way or another and the more the merrier was the rule. We got hammered almost every day with their games. I got sun burned one day when we got hammered a bit too early and I lost track of how much sun I was getting but so did the rest of us that day. The worst part was I tried to jump out of the pool hammered and I kind of slid up over the side of the pool and my nipple got caught in a crack in the side of the pool and I cut my nipple pretty deeply on the sharp edges in the cracked tile. Blood was gushing out and scared the hotel guys a bit but I got it to stop fairly quickly and just went on getting drunk. The next day and for several days after my nip was sore as hell. It healed eventually but I am going to be much more careful in the future.
We ended our last night out on the town in P.V. at Andale's bar. We were doing shots with the guy that walks around making a big show of each shot. People were still grabbing my ass. We got pretty ripped on all the shots and beer. We went to a dance club after Andale to try to dance off some of the booze. Then we went back to the hotel still hammered.
The next day at the airport I ran into one of the guys that was at the bar the night before. He was a mess. Right after we left the Andale bar, he left also. We went in opposite directions and one short block away from the bar he was going around a corner and two guys hit him in the face with aluminum baseball bats. They smashed the bones in his face and knocked a few teeth out as well as gave him a concussion. They also broke his arm and some ribs with subsequent hits from their bats. He was a mess. He had spent all night in the hospital getting his bones and open wounds fixed up well enough so that he could fly home to get his bones set in the States. He did not want to get such delicate surgery in Mexico. It could just as easily have been us getting beat up like that but we were lucky and he wasn't. I was always much more careful going around corners after that incident. I go around them wide and ready to flee if there is a problem. I generally am very street smart and try to do everything as safely as I can. But you can't always avoid an incident like this guy went through. I felt sorry for him.
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